​Drinking where? Well, buy Drinkware. Outdoor affair? You will not care. Plastic glassware never posed [a risk] if it could be disposed* [of? Shhh!!]. Pour your favorite party drink in plastic cups that do not clink. Smarty cannot guarantee a holiday that is stress-free [we would if we could!]. But you won't whack if glasses crack, and wedding budgets stay intact. Bigwig shindig? Good for you. It's just begun, so have fun, too. Preserve your nerve; don't waste your grace. So slick, it's sick - that Smarty taste. Transcend the trend and swank your party. Trim your spend... how spanking Smarty. Cheers! [hic]
Dear Mrs.Grammar-Fiend, my 2nd grade teacher [remember me? I'm the one who did NOT put the bubble gum on your chair]: I also did NOT write the above sentence. I copied it from the bespectacled nerd who sat in front of me and always got good grades. P.S. We all knew he was your rich uncle's son.