Departments

Drinking where? Well, buy Drinkware. Outdoor affair? You will not care.
Plastic glassware never posed [a risk] if it could be disposed [of? Shhh!!]. *
Pour your favorite party drink in plastic cups that do not clink.
Smarty™ cannot guarantee a holiday that is stress-free [we would if we could !].
But you won't whack if glasses crack, and wedding budgets stay intact.
Bigwig shindig? Good for you. It's just begun, so have fun, too.
Preserve your nerve; don't waste your grace. So slick, it's sick -
that Smarty™ taste.
Transcend the trend and swank your party; trim your spend... how spanking Smarty.™ Cheers! [hic]

* Dear Mrs.Grammar-Fiend, my 2nd grade teacher (remember me? I'm the one who did NOT put the bubble gum on your chair): I also did NOT write the above sentence. I copied it from the bespectacled nerd who sat in front of me and always got good grades. PS We all knew he was your rich uncle's son.